Hesitation not Hopeless

There was a lot of hesitation in the first two trimesters of my pregnancy I didn’t really know what any outcome would be so I just felt like I was on Pause. There was a cloud over my head that kept me from being excited about being pregnant and the thought of having twins. If you’ve been around me for a second you know I love design and making our home… homey in my own way. Decorating the nursery and prepping for baby was a huge joy for me with Ana Rose.  With the twins, I’ve hesitated. 

Are we preparing for one baby or two? Should I even look at items for twins? Are we actually going to end up with twins? Is one or both of my babies going to die?

Hesitant for sure. 

And now here we are at 27 weeks and I think I’m finally ready to begin. This week was a really good week! We had heart echos on Tuesday and both hearts are beating and growing normally. We had scans two times this weeks and dopplers were great, fluids were average and organs were visible…. Bebés are growing and we are even seeing signs of Kira is catching up!!! She grew more than Emma!!! Emma is 1lb15oz (43 percentile) and Kira is 1lb7oz (16 percentile!!!) she has been under 10% this entire time so that means she is growing well!! We went from 47% discordance in growth to 26%. It’s been a miracle! 

Or, and hear me out, it’s been an answer to prayer. 

We have had people from literally all over the world adding our twinkies to prayer lists, prayer groups, daily quiet times and who really even knows what else. They have been praying hard. There has been a loud rising of voices for healing and protection over our girls. I have felt it. My brother said we were being to calm and stoic about the events of the past few months and honestly, it’s just been a supernatural peace.  I can spiral real quick about anything if given the opportunity and while I’ve been hesitant in planning, I haven’t felt hopeless. No spiral in sight. 

We’ve even been able to have little respites of celebration during this process. We had some pretty sweet showers thrown for us over the past few weeks from my Girls Group to my besties. I am seriously overwhelmed at the love of community we have surrounding us. Blame it on the hormones, or whatever, but I cry all the time about it. 😂😭

So, thank you for helping carry these twins. Thank you for continuing to pray for them and lift up our family. Let’s keep these bebés in for a few more weeks shall we?!